Whattup Horseyholics. I just wanted to fill you in on my weekend. As you read in my last column, I was supposed to wrestle in Dayton against my good friend Dale Johnson. But for those who wasn't there, that didn't happen. I can't believe you guys thought for a split second that I would come to blows with one of my best friends in this business. You guys are such marks.
Anyway, I did wrestle in Dayton and it was a match with Dale Johnson in a TAG MATCH against some green bastard named Merth and "The Future" Logan Cain, who coincidentally happens to be Al Snow's brother. Even though he's Al's brother he still didn't have what it takes to beat what turned out to be one of the best and most entertaining tag teams I've seen in a while. We bounced there asses all over that ring and finally Merth found out why we are far more superior than he when he took "Five Across The Eye" from The Orient Express. How'd you like countin those lights punk?
Anyway, this weekend I'll be in Urbana, OH wrestling for Violent Championship Wrestling (a name after my own heart). I'm scheduled to wrestle some chico lookin, bean burrito eaten, drop the chalupa saying, punk bitch Mexican named Sheik Abdul- Hassan. (Oh wait, he's from Iraq so he can't be Mexican) (my bad). i really don't care what he is or WHO he is, his ass is mine Saturday night. we are scheduled in a tables and florescent lightbulbs match. well i don't care what kind of match it is. he's gonna be picking glass out of his ass along with splinters so big he can use them to pick the burrito out of his teeth (damn, my bad again, i forgot) (not burritos, more like camel cock). Whatever the case, he's gonna experience some real pain. So Sheik be prepared to get your greencard shoved up your ass.
Well, I gotta go. I'll let you know how bad I kicked that punk's ass in next week's column because you know that "The Orient Express" is ALL UP IN YOUR ASS!!!!!!!