Whattup Horsey-holics. Your “CERTIFIED CULT LEADER” has returned from what he considers a VERY successful outing in Crooksville. I know what your thinking “But master, you didn’t wrestle this weekend. Your opponent no-showed.”

Exactly my point my dedicated dip-shitz. You see, Coyote has known of “The Orient Express” for some time now. He knows what he is capable of, and when he read my column and heard rumors of my “New-found” attitude. Well, let’s just say that he took a little trip to somewhere he knew I would never go looking for him. He knew he was in real trouble and was gonna receive a sacrificial beating unlike anybody has ever seen. So for now, Coyote has survived. He is in seclusion and no one has even spoken to him. But sooner or later, he will come out of hiding. And when he does, the beating will be even worse. It will be worse for making me wait for him, and to also teach him a valuable lesson in “punishment for Gimmick Infringement”.

Now, Marcus Dillon, Matt Mason, and the C.O. Hustler. Collectively known as “The Dynasty”. Well, you boy’s can “collectively” kiss my fat, dimpled, smelly ass. You were able to dodge me in Crooksville, but sooner or later, you will pay for your sins. “The Master of Puppets” is making his list and checking it twice. He’s gonna find out who’s naughty and nice. And when he finds the nice one’s, he’s gonna shove his thumb straight up their ass for a little “SHOCK TREATMENT”. As a matter of fact, this weekend is "REDEMPTION" in Toledo, OH. I’m not really sure who our oversized booking committee is going to deliver to me as a sacrificial lamb this weekend so I may just have to take it upon myself to find one. Or two. Maybe even three. Hey, isn’t that how many members there are in “The Dynasty”. Hhhhmmmmm……

Besides Mr. Manchild, I read your column on your web site . I see how I am permanently implanted into your mind like your breast are permanently implanted into your chest, along with my BOOT I might add. But something is weird to me. It seems as of late that every time my name is mentioned somewhere in the conversation “Dale Johnson’s” name gets brought up. Do you think there is a connection or something with Dale and I? Do you think that Dale and I look similar? Do you like Dale and I act similar? Do you think that maybe, possibly Dale Johnson is my inside guy? What is it with putting our names together? It’s always Shank and Dale, Shank and Dale. Why does our names have to be associated. Shank did this and Dale did that. Dale……Dale ……..Shank and Dale…………..Hhhhhmmmmmm………got to go. That’s all for now.