Whattup Horsey-holics !!! It is once again your certified “Cult leader” and as of late, a very popular person. It seems that acquaintances, new and old, have surfaced or resurfaced and has gotten in touch with “The Orient Express”. Weird how things work out sometimes.

I know I said that I was going to come back on this column and talk about how big Mark Manis’s nose is (By the way, kudos to my partner in crime Collin for taking the “Big Nose” gimmick to the next level at b’dubs the other day. That was awesome stuff and I definitely needed the laugh.), but I am here, once again, this week to get some personal things off my chest.

To say that this week has been hectic is the understatement of the century. First off, if you didn’t know by now, “The Orient Express” and his better half are expecting. So, Friday, we have our Doctor’s appointment and the doc tells us it’s getting close. He informs us to try to convince our “newborn to be” that it is time to enter the world. So he gives us some instructions on what to do that day.

Since I am the type of person that holds nothing back. I’ll tell you what the doctor ordered. My doctor ordered me to “bust dem drawls”. That’s right, we were instructed to walk a lot, and have sex a few times to get the contractions going. That’s the kind of prescription that I like. Too bad the Zing-Zing isn’t a cure all. Anyway, we did what the doctor ordered us to do and ----- NOTHING HAPPENED !!!!!! Not even a leg cramp.

Saturday rolls around and my wife informs me that Mama Dorsey is having her chest pains again. We decide that it was time for her to go back to the hospital so they can take a look to see what was going on. As our luck would have it, they found a scar tissue build up where the new and old veins connect from the by-pass surgery she had just 3 or 4 months ago and it was 85% blocked.

They schedule an angioplasty for Monday morning and ended up putting another stint in her heart where the veins connect to help prevent the build up and to also open it up some more. I tell ya, that woman has more metal in her chest than “The Terminator” now. She could strip butt-naked and still set off metal detectors. But she is feeling better now, and that is what matters most.

I say, “As our luck would have it” because our family isn’t the “luckiest” family that I know. The doctor’s told her that what happened to her was a rare occurrence. Her doctor has only seen 3 cases in 15 years of practice and the other doctor has only seen 2 cases in 20 years. So leave it to Mama Dorsey to give them another notch in their “rare occurrence” belt.

Monday is upon us and still no baby, but good news. The doc called us and said we were going to induce the baby on Tuesday evening. Mama Dorsey had her stint put in successfully and I was watching RAW and everything was starting to look up. Then the phone rings. It’s my first daughter’s mother calling to say that they just came back from Children’s Hospital and Megan had a temperature of 104% and they wouldn’t let her leave until they got it down. They finally got it down to 101% and took blood and urine samples because they thought there might be a case of strep throat. I instructed her mom to call me if anything happens. Great, now I have 3 members of my immediate family that are having problems.

Tuesday rolls around and it is one busy day to be had. I hadn’t been to work since Thursday, so I decided to go in for a few hours. I go to work a half a day and then I leave work to go pick up Mama Dorsey and Big Duke from the hospital. We finally leave the hospital around 3 pm. I have to rush home and get things ready because Terrie and myself have to be back up at Grant at 7pm to have the baby induced.

We get to the hospital right on time and start the inducing. Things didn’t go as planned and Terrie had to deliver the baby “naturally”. She was dilated to 4 and the nurse called the epidural nurse and she arrived in about 15 minutes, which is pretty quick in my opinion. When she walked in, they did another check and in that short amount of time, she went from a 4 to an 8 and the nurse just flat out told us that she would have the baby before the medicine would kick in, so Terrie had the baby with no meds at all. Not even an aspirin for Christ sakes.

Now, I’ve done some painful things in my wrestling career. I’ve been in Death Matches, I’ve been cut and battered and bruised. I’m even scarred for life because of wrestling. My body has taken a lot of punishment but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen pain the way that she did that night. I will give her all the credit in the world for going through that like a champ. I don’t know if I could have done that or not. But nevertheless, she pulled through the delivery with flying colors and we now are the proud parents of a beautiful little girl. Yes, I know. Another girl. What’s a guy to do in a household of 5 women and him, right? Well, the answer…… not a whole lot. I’m pretty much outnumbered at this point.

After the smoke had clear, we got placed in our room and everything was looking good. Later that night, Terrie had an incident were her bed was covered in blood, there was a trail of blood from the bed to the bathroom and a blood clot in the toilet about the size of a flattened soccer ball. She was definitely worried as the doctor and numerous nurses rushed in to help her. They gave her a shot in the hip, some pills, and lord knows what else to help control the “after delivery” bleeding. Well, they got the bleeding under control nicely, and where was I when all this was going on in the middle of the night…. I was in the chair-bed beside her bed sawing up some logs.

I slept through the whole thing. I couldn’t believe it after they told me what all had happened the next day. I guess they had rammed my bed with a wheelchair, they had called my name, and Terrie was even throwing things at me, and I didn’t even budge. I got teased the next day by everyone, including the nurses, and I know it’s kind of funny now, but it got me thinking about what if something does happen in the middle of the night and I can’t get up. Not a nice thought.

The nurses said it was probably because I was under a lot of stress and I was exhausted and my body just kind of shut down. I have done that to myself before so we kind of knew what she was talking about.

All in all, everything has turned out great so far. Mama Dorsey is feeing better, Terrie and (the newest member of the Yard-bird) Rachel Lynn are doing great, and Megan’s test results came back negative and she is feeling much better. So after everything that has went on this week, I can honestly say that I am happy with the results and hope everything continues to look on the up and up.

I have not thought much about wrestling as of late, but since everyone is better and Rachel has arrived, the thoughts and urges are starting to return. I have a lot of things on my mind as it relates to Shank and Dale, so I will have to sit down with Dale and discuss our future, so we can decide what the best route is for one of the most entertaining and heat generating Tag-Teams that has hit the circuit in quite a while. We have been contacted by a few different promotions, in and out of the state, that have seen or heard phenomenal things about us and have thrown offers our way to add to our schedule. We will just have to see what is in store for Shank and Dale.

That's all I got for now. As long as everything is running smoothley, I promise to be back next time, better than ever, and insulting and humiliating as many people as I can. Because everyone knows, that if your ain't Yarb-bird, YOU AIN'T SHIT!!!!