It seems that my last column has ruffled the feathers of that pansy ass Mark Mattis .

It seems he didn't like the fact that I was talking about him again.

Well, all I can say is ... Do something about it !!!

One of his statements was

"I will admit that in a hotdog eating contest, Shank puts me to shame.

I will admit that in an ice cream eating contest, Shank would destroy me.

I will admit that in a "sit on a couch massaging lil-shank while watching reruns of Martin" contest, Shank is the HANDS down champion.

But Shankie-poo, in the wrestling ring? I think the "Ben-N-Jerrys" froze your brain. While you (Shank) are pulling the glass out of your ass, I am putting the fun back in FUNdamentals.

While you (Shank) are trying to get the thumbtack out of your back, I am putting the fans back in FANtastic."

You see Mattis, you just don't understand the fact that yes, I do enjoy hardcore wrestling, and I'd probably bleed in every match, if it called for me to.

But the fact still remains that I am also very well developed in my wrestling skills as well, so if you want to be twisted into a knot and exposed as the under trained, over-exposed, steroid taking pussy that you are then there are ways for us to meet in the ring. As a matter of fact, VCW seems interested in that very thing happening ... oh wait, I forgot, your playing football now. That is another reason I wan't to hurt you.

Your just like a lot of other people out there. When wrestling was hot and at the top of it's game, everybody wanted to be a part of it and everyone was going to make it to the WWE, because it was the cool thing to do.

Now that wrestling has hit a slow point and it isn't as "COOL" as it was a year or two ago, people are making excuses and hanging up the boots. Well you know Mattis, it is a simple philosophy. It you don't love something, then leave it and that's just what you did.

Maybe it's best that you stay in football because this business only DESERVES the people that love wrestling, wether it's cool or not. So keep your fake ass on the gridiron punk.

You also seem to enjoy making references to my physical shape as well, pretty much saying that because I'm fat, I couldn't hang with you. Well, big boy, you just stay in the gym and hit those weights all you want, but just remember, the weights don't hit back.

Ok, I've given big nose enough of my time. I mentioned VCW earlier and yes, Violent Championship Wrestling has contacted me and they want to bring Shank and Dale back for another run. I guess they finally woke up and realized that there is no one out there like Shank and Dale, so we will see what happens.

Rehab is going real well and I am looking forward to getting back into the ring and seeing how the hip holds up. The shoulder is feeling great as well.

"The Orient Express" Shank Dorsey has held up the name of "The Orient Express". Your certified cult leader was out and about in the wife's van a few weeks ago when I encountered a situation that would put most people in the hospital.

I was involved in a 4 car pile up and walked away with nothing more than a tore up van and a temper that could have slit someone's throat and not thought twice. I was the second car out of 4 which means that I got slammed in the ass by a Dodge Durango .

After the Durango slammed me in the ass, like Mark Mattis slamming his tissue box after a massive case of post nasal drip, I got launched into the back of

what else?

A Semi Tractor Trailer !!!

I think it is safe to say that "The Orient Express" didn't come out on top in this encounter .

There is also something interesting that I found out. I found out that your vehicle won't run very smooth if your radiator is sticking into your battery .

Anyway, there were a couple of injuries in the wreck and one man even got hauled off in an ambulance but like I said, "The Orient Express" thankfully came out of this wreckage unscathed and happy that his wife and girl's wasn't with him at the time. The funny thing about it all is that I luckily had my seatbelt on and still got thrown out of my seat, which could have been real bad had I not Buckled Up!!

All the doctor's that have looked me over all agreed that one of the main reason's I walked away unharmed is the fact that I am a Professional Wrestler and my body is already used to getting banged around like that.

It's funny how something that has caused me so much pain, is also the direct result of preventing it as well.

Well, that's about all I got for now. I have to get back to being the Cheap DVDS Advisor so I can build a soild future for my familia.

All I know is that it doesn't matter if I'm the Cheap DVDS Advisor , "The Orient Express" Shank Dorsey, Dad, Donnie, Big Daddy, Honey, Asshole or whatever else Terrie calls me. I am still kickin it Yard-Bird Style !!!