Whattup Horsey-holics.
I know it’s my first update of 2007 but I am finally back with an update as well as the much anticipated response about Mark Mattis’s video and comments.
First, let me say that I have changed my MySpace pages around and the new one is http://www.myspace.com/shankdorsey .
Alright, now that my head has been clearing from all the crap that has been going on in my personal life, I keep getting these voices in my head telling me to respond to Mark Mattis and his sons comments that he “HAD” on his web site.
Me and Mattis go back a ways. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it bad and when it’s bad, I always find a way to get in the ring with him and teach him a lesson.
This time, it’s neither good nor bad. It’s actually a little sad and pathetic in a way. You see, I really don’t think there is a person out there that likes to throw cracks and insults more than I do. I mean, I really enjoy it and I’m good at it as well.
I have thrown a lot jokes Mark Mattis’s way in the past and will most likely continue to do so in the future. In doing this, I have always tried to mention different things about him such as his big nose, his time as a girly cheerleader in college, his steroid riddled body, his lack of talent as a pro wrestler, Antonio Rizzo, etc. I mean the list goes on and on. I have always insulted him by myself and I have not needed to recruit people into my game because I am lacking in the insult department.
To catch everyone up on what I am talking about, I think for the last 45,000 years or so all Mark Mattis has insulted me on is my weight. It’s "fat boy this and fat boy that" and that’s fine if that’s all he’s got to work with. Go for it. But now it seems he’s running low on fat jokes and has recruited his son now to help him.
They did a video about me where they were both sitting there and they did the “Shank Dorsey is soooo fat ….. Well, how fat is he” gimmick. To be honest, I thought it was a good one and I did get a chuckle out of it.
I also got this feeling of shame and that shame is for Mark himself. Not only is he recruiting people to help him in our little flame war, he is now telling his son “Go ahead son, it’s ok to make fun of people. It’s ok to make fun of fat kids or retarded kids or anyone for that matter.”
You will never hear me say that I never do that and that it is wrong. I am one of the worst when it comes to insulting people. I will insult fat people, skinny people, old people, young people, retarded people, dumb people, slow people, deformed people, it doesn’t matter but you will never and I mean NEVER hear one of my children doing it.
I take my roll as a father seriously and if you know my family then you know that my children are some of the most respectful children out there. My wife and I have taught them to never say mean things about people and if I slip and let out an insult in front of them, they scold me and tell me that I am bad.
When they get old enough to see how I really am and how I love to insult people, they will really scold me and call me a big fat hypocrite but I don’t care. It will be too late for them and they will have to live the rest of their lives being respectful people as they were taught.
With that being said, after I got done laughing at the video they made, because like I said I did think it was funny, I thought how sad it was that he was teaching this boy to insult a person for being overweight. I instantly started thinking about Coach Harris and Ogre from Revenge Of The Nerds.
Mark is into films and right now he and his son are starring in their own film with Mini-Mattis or Cie playing Doanld Gibb as Fred "The Ogre" Palowakski and Mark Mattis playing John Goodman as Coach Harris. From now on, this is how I will refer to them.
It will really be a shame to see Ogre out there on the field or walking down the hall in high school and he is laughing and pointing at other kid’s and Coach Harris will either be in the stands or on the sidelines of life clapping, cheering, and coaching his boy on. And all of this because Coach Harris wasn’t good enough to rib on his own against “The Orient Express”. Man, what an impact I’ve left on this family.
I hope when Ogre signs his NFL contract and has made it to the big leagues that he gives me my just due and simply tells it like it is. The truth is that “The Orient Express” Shank Dorsey always was and will be better than his father “Coach Harris” and it even made his father become a bad parent in the process.
Ok, now that I have that off of my chest, I simply want to state the real reason why I will always be better than Mark Mattis. The reason is because I know he is sitting here right now reading this and I have probably pushed at least 3 buttons. I bet his neck or face is all red and he is a little pissed about my questioning of his parenting skills.
I did not write this to insult the mans parenting skills. I simply wrote it to try and piss him off and I bet you any amount of money that in some small way, I did just that. And I did it all by myself. That’s what makes me better at it than him.
Anyway, after writing this, I can see that I really am getting back to normal so all I can say is “BRING IT ON BAD BOY !!!!”
Yard-Bird On The Represent...
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS !!!